After having received my feedback from the rest of the class on my thriller pitch towards them I have noticed a few problems with the scene that could be improved on. these ranged in big and also smaller aspects which people thought could have helped the scene.

The general aspect of the scene would be the same such as the start how he is walking through the woods talking on the phone. The scene would start with extreme long shots and establishing shots of the woods that the opening scene will take place in. The person in the scene is still carrying the big duffle bag that he has on his back that is clearly heavy. At the start it would seem quite serious until there is a sudden phone call which is a usual phone call where he talks casually to the person that he was on the phone to.

 he would carry on walking for around 15 - 20 seconds until he would finally reach the point when he then sets down his bag and carries on talking to the person on the phone as he then sets down the bag on the floor and unzips it and puts together the gun.

He would then continue to talk to the person that he is on the phone to when we then see the expression on his or her face changes as she sees the person that he or she will shoot. He or she then says to the person that she is on the phone that they are getting another call and that he or she will have to put them on hold.

He or she would then look down the gun quickly and follow the person who is walking through the woods and take the shot. There would then be a small pause when he or she would then pick up the phone again and talk to the person who they were on the phone to before. and walk away.

They would then be left with the person that had been shot so that the audience is then clear about what he or she had shot.